Time Ticks By So Slowly

Theme: When something changes – good or bad. A twist of events, an unexpected turn of events, a change in the wind, weather, love, whatever.

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Written by Jessica

Right now, change is like another person who lives in my house, though change doesn’t pay rent. (Change is apparently a squatter.) I know that everything will be very different soon. I become more aware of it with every shirt that I can’t wear anymore and with every little kick I feel. I know that, for me and mine, nothing will ever be the same, and these next few months are the last pieces of my old life. My “Me and My Dude and My Dog” life, which currently involves a lot of sofa snuggles, snacks, and streaming TV. I won’t lie to you—it’s super great. Yet, with every new episode of Breaking Bad we watch, I become acutely aware that our evenings will be spent in a much different fashion than this, much sooner than I realize. At least, that’s what everyone keeps telling me.

Then why do I feel like it’s taking so… dang… LONG?

The thing is, I’ve been told early and often to enjoy this, because time moves so quickly. I haven’t experienced that yet. You know what I keep thinking about? Songs. In particular, I think about how many songs are there about time—about how it goes by so slowly, how it is ticking away the moments that make up a dull day. Honestly, I’m pretty scared about the change that’s coming to my life because the majority of it is wild open unknown and there’s nothing more frightening than that. However, in that same honest vein (and to quote another song, if I may), lately I feel like I’m waiting for my real life to begin.
 

So, let me explain.

The life I have created for myself and with my husband is pretty damn great, almost entirely because it’s with him. We are best friends and we are in love, and yada yada heart eyes yada. However, he and I have been together (combining dating plus married life) for over 13 years. That’s a long time, y’all. It’s a lot of time to make memories, create jokes, and essentially manufacture a shorthand that’s all our own. We’ve traveled and we’ve been spontaneous and we’ve planned to the letter and we’ve laughed. Sweet merciful Zeus, we have laughed more than anything else. Even with the hardships, I’ve loved every minute.

But now…

Now I’m ready to see how we operate with new titles, as Mom and Dad. I’m excited to start the new phase and everything that comes with it. For us, that’s thoughts about our work situations, where we want to live, buying a new car that has room enough for all of us (including the dog, naturally), and a host of other changes that we probably haven’t considered yet. I do know that all of these things could fall down on me all at once, and they likely will. There’s one side of me that knows I’ll be so overloaded and overwhelmed that I’ll dream of the “Me and My Dude and My Dog” days.

Then there’s this other side of me that’s more than ready. I want certain things to happen in the time they’re supposed to—as in, babies? You stay right there ‘til you’re fully baked—but the rest? Bring. It. On. The upheaval, the newness, the messiness. I want all of it. I will welcome the change (in small, manageable doses, of course) with wide open arms and a six pack of something cold and delicious. Life will be twisty and turny and that wild open unknown that scares me so, but I also know it will continue to be pretty damn great.

At least, that’s what everyone keeps telling me.
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