Women Rituals with HIM


Theme: The personal rituals shared between lady friends.


Written by Gesa

I feel a little embarrassed to write about my “lady ritual”. Reading what my co-authors wrote made me feel egotistic about what I do, and a little unsure about my character. I feel unfaithful towards my friends and, clearly, towards my boyfriend.

Let me explain.

When I first started working, I suddenly found it more and more difficult to stay in steady contact with my closest friends from back in the day, when school or university life was a strict rotation of free days interrupted by classes and some exams, but mostly a self-discovery-trip with loads of personal drama.

If stress was a factor in my life back then it was substantially eliminated by weekly girls’ prosecco night (every Wednesday, to be specific, when “Grey’s Anatomy” aired on the TV in the background), the usual university weekend program (mostly big house parties and the usual pre-party in someone’s flat) and a lot of running (I used to do a lot of sports… a lot…).

If stress is a factor in my life now, it is sustained by my current lifestyle. To make it short: long and busy hours at work, weekends filled with visits to see family and friends all over Germany. Little time to myself. After-work drinks but no dancing the alcohol off afterwards. And no sport at all. None.

To cut to the point, my friends and my social life had helped me to stay healthy and fit over my early years. Mentally and physically. Now I have days when my entire body screams of tension. Some days my neck is so achingly stiff that I welcome the headache arising from it as a distraction. Which makes my neck stiff again. Vicious circle. Poor me.

In earlier days, I did not have enough money to have someone physically take care of such situations or ‘needs’, as men would say. So I did the usual. I called my friends. One could say our lady rituals were basically long, long phone calls. And I love them for picking up again and again. But as I said: it is hard enough to stay in contact with them nowadays. It is fun to sometimes cheer each other up on Skype; but I’d rather call them with good news instead of the recurring complaints about work and life in general. So I got curious when one of my friends, instead of listening to my self-pity, gave me THE NUMBER. “Call him. It is a little expensive. But you get what you REALLY need when you are as tense as you are right now. Just get over yourself and try it. I promise, you will not regret it.” To be honest, by then I was already dating my current boyfriend.

And that is what I do now, when I need some real woman stuff: I go to someone who knows how to deal with a real woman. These days I have enough money to afford him on a regular basis. It is my very own, very lady ritual I allow myself. Well, I am actually not doing anything myself. I just pay for it.

Although I know people, especially women, mostly feminists, will judge me for what I am spending my money on: if they only knew where I go on those Saturday afternoons. Sometimes even during the week directly after work. Sometimes he and I have a little prosecco before it even starts.

After a long and stressful day at work, he is the one person I want to call. Not my boyfriend. My boyfriend might want to satisfy his own needs, or, even more annoyingly, want to talk after having a stressful day himself. So yes, I stand by it: HE is the only one I can share two straight hours with, not talking, but giving me the greatest pleasure my money can buy while I just enjoy and…

…read those rubbish women’s magazines.

Who else could I be writing about but my beloved coiffeur. Who needs ‘lady friends’ when you found the perfect HAIRDRESSER?

And no no no my lovely readers from Berlin – I will not share his number with you!


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