© Kathryn Baer
THEME: GMGM 2016!
Editor’s Note: Each writer submitted a list of her Top 10 Anything. These lists will be published over the next few days as we usher in the New Year. We hope 2016 is the year that shakes your snow globe – in the best way possible.
Here’s Kat’s Top 10 Settings This Year, in no particular order of appearance.
- Where the music happened: dimly-lit, tambourine-accompanied Korean-style karaoke bars; the Castro Theater; the corner of Polk St and Vallejo, the recording studio for Covers of Covers; Martuni’s, the piano bar, where one’s first will never be the last; and a house on Stanyan St, to prepare for future audiences.
First, a scene from my own personal nutshell:
KAT; self. As played by self.
LYFT driver; anyone from anywhere.
(San Francisco; inside a Toyota Prius. The DRIVER in the front of the car begins a conversation with a question straight out of Chit Chat 101. KAT, the passenger in the back, relives, for the 42nd time, the following.)
How long have you lived in the city?
(Looks into the review mirror)
KAT (sighs to herself because she knows where this is going):
Almost two years.
THEME: Sex, Love & Intimacy
Intimate conversations about sex and body stuff forge fast bonds between friends. I’m hard-pressed to think of a close friend with whom I have avoided either of these subjects. Hi, my name is Carrie Bradshaw and Like many women, I have an on-call investigatory committee, ready to seriously assess/ dissect abnormalities and trends, or provide a laugh when necessary. A perfect example: the prospect of bleaching one’s asshole, as illustrated by Chelsea Handler. I have, for instance, a sex educator pal, faithful in her willingness to discuss opinions on everything from kinks to bodily freak-outs. She also isn’t afraid to use the word fuck to a great extent, which I find reassuring. She’s the Shazza to my Bridget Jones. Also on speed dial: a friend from elementary school who’s gamely unstuck me from more than one dressing room lingerie garment, and another who keeps me on consultation for sex toy shopping (she thinks I know things). Continue reading
THEME: Rearview Review
That’s how Jessica and I used to greet blog posts. I’m temporarily traveling in Korea and winning on time zones. What day is it? …OCTOBER?!
Delays aside, this piece is intended to reflect on the last year, throughout which, the notion of value has punctuated the buzz of my constant stream(s!) of thought at various intervals. Like when you’re on aisle six, carrying tampons and queso, suddenly, consciously, mom-humming to Dancing Queen. Continue reading
The future of GMGM. © Jessica Sheehan.
THEME: Rearview Review
by Jess (via Kat)
Jess’s hands are full of babies. So Kat wrote this post on her behalf, in her (temporary) absence, with her blessing. These are all Jess’s words – snippets from emails to Kat, giving some insight into the last year, which evolved in the following manner:
From Pre-AV Jess
The babies are fine. I can feel them moving around now, which is SUPREMELY WEIRD. But also very reassuring.
Maybe we’ll know this week what sexes they are, which would make me so happy so people stop frigging asking. I’ve literally been asked that question four times just today. Continue reading
One of the places we were (not) on vacation.
It’s been a few weeks. Did GMGM win the lottery and yomp off to an island in the South Pacific to finally put to rest which writer is the biggest misfit? We miss you. Come back or we will have fewer distractions during the workday.
Newell, Peter, illustrator. Favorite Fairy Tales: The Childhood Choice of Representative Men and Women. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1907.
Theme: Goldilocks & the Three Bears
When British writer and poet Robert Southey put quill to ink in the 1830s to record a long-orated English nursery tale, there was no Goldilocks (nor were there bears in England, but we’ll skirt that detail for now). Efficiently titled, The Story of the Three Bears, his chosen pro/ antagonist was a dirty, old, nameless woman.
It wasn’t until meddling Joseph Cundall came along in 1849 that the middle-sized Bear was given a bit of a sex change and the old hag was replaced by an adorable blonde criminal. Ah, those crazy Victorians. As for the child, according to Cundall, there were just *yawn* too many aging women characters, ushering in an era in which roles intended for older women are unjustifiably awarded to their younger counterparts.
Let us revisit this classic tale. Continue reading
© Nicole Keane
Theme: Yes, AND…
GMGM has two new things: a gorgeous banner and a sanity salvaging schedule. We will now post once a week so that we (the authors) and you (our gracious audience) can better savor the fruits of our labor.
The thing is, writing (at least for our purposes) is the act of creating something from scratch for an audience – mainly the big three: moms, Facebook and one’s internal reviewer. You want to be compelling. You want people to read your work. You hope not to sound like an idiot. Stumbling blocks are often a welcome reprieve – taking over the imagination, becoming larger than the task at hand, and enticing writers to bend into pangs of procrastination and fully-fledged writer’s block. This often results in succumbing to days or weeks of Netflix only to finally face draft copy during a severe bout of deadline-fueled endorphins.
In an attempt to square off with these stumbling blocks, this round, we authors are going to use the improv principle of Yes, AND, which would normally occur onstage line by line with proper improv actors. As far-flung contributors, we don’t have the luxury of immediate feedback, so the rules are a bit different: Each author has to accept the basic premise of the previous posts (the character, the plot). Once they have done so, they also add something new. The idea here is to spark some collective creativity (forcing all of us to contribute to a shared narrative) and foster a community of supportive risk-taking. You know, team building, group hugs, blah blah blah. Continue reading
This week it’s all about the money (money, money…). Another day, another dollar. Stream-of-conscious brainstorm. Boom. Hurricane season.
At the moment: Take the course, pitch the article, connect – savvy, polished, professional wordsmith. Freelance to freedom. Transitional spending: track this, save that. I spend money like water and the going rate for creativity is allocated to a shoestring slush fund. Continue reading
Theme: The End.
Amy Poehler is marching through my mental corridors again. She’s exhausting, triumphantly parading back and forth with her sandwich board: You Do It Because the Doing of it is the Thing! It’s my favorite quote from her book; repeated ad nauseum it’s starting to lose meaning. This quote is highly motivating, usually. But the coffee subsided and my mantra is now been subsumed by tangential wordplay. I’ve lost a quarter of an hour to invested a quarter of an hour in devising puns.
All things come to an end, I think to myself, impressed with my astute observation. I bet people will quote this completely original thought once my post is published. This appears to appease Amy, who sits finally, head in hand, sandwich board strewn across the room. Continue reading