Kat’s Top 10 Settings for the Story of My Year

IMG_2704

© Kathryn Baer

THEME: GMGM 2016!

Editor’s Note: Each writer submitted a list of her Top 10 Anything. These lists will be published over the next few days as we usher in the New Year. We hope 2016 is the year that shakes your snow globe – in the best way possible.

Here’s Kat’s Top 10 Settings This Year, in no particular order of appearance.

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by Kat

  1. Where the music happened: dimly-lit, tambourine-accompanied Korean-style karaoke bars; the Castro Theater; the corner of Polk St and Vallejo, the recording studio for Covers of Covers; Martuni’s, the piano bar, where one’s first will never be the last; and a house on Stanyan St, to prepare for future audiences.

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Where are you from?

julenisse

Norwegian Nisse by https://www.flickr.com/photos/jpellgen/ (Flickr Creative Commons)

THEME: Travel

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by Kat

First, a scene from my own personal nutshell:

KAT; self. As played by self.

LYFT driver; anyone from anywhere.

(San Francisco; inside a Toyota Prius. The DRIVER in the front of the car begins a conversation with a question straight out of Chit Chat 101. KAT, the passenger in the back, relives, for the 42nd time, the following.)

DRIVER:

How long have you lived in the city?

(Looks into the review mirror)

KAT (sighs to herself because she knows where this is going):

Almost two years.

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Business Time

Business timeTHEME: Sex, Love & Intimacy

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by Kat

Intimate conversations about sex and body stuff forge fast bonds between friends. I’m hard-pressed to think of a close friend with whom I have avoided either of these subjects. Hi, my name is Carrie Bradshaw and Like many women, I have an on-call investigatory committee, ready to seriously assess/ dissect abnormalities and trends, or provide a laugh when necessary. A perfect example: the prospect of bleaching one’s asshole, as illustrated by Chelsea Handler. I have, for instance, a sex educator pal, faithful in her willingness to discuss opinions on everything from kinks to bodily freak-outs. She also isn’t afraid to use the word fuck to a great extent, which I find reassuring. She’s the Shazza to my Bridget Jones. Also on speed dial: a friend from elementary school who’s gamely unstuck me from more than one dressing room lingerie garment, and another who keeps me on consultation for sex toy shopping (she thinks I know things). Continue reading

Value Able

writing

THEME: Rearview Review

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by Kat

Good Morning!

That’s how Jessica and I used to greet blog posts. I’m temporarily traveling in Korea and winning on time zones. What day is it? …OCTOBER?!

Delays aside, this piece is intended to reflect on the last year, throughout which, the notion of value has punctuated the buzz of my constant stream(s!) of thought at various intervals. Like when you’re on aisle six, carrying tampons and queso, suddenly, consciously, mom-humming to Dancing Queen. Continue reading

Welcome to the AV Club

The future of GMGM. © Jessica Sheehan.

The future of GMGM. © Jessica Sheehan.

THEME: Rearview Review

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by Jess (via Kat)

Jess’s hands are full of babies. So Kat wrote this post on her behalf, in her (temporary) absence, with her blessing. These are all Jess’s words – snippets from emails to Kat, giving some insight into the last year, which evolved in the following manner:

From Pre-AV Jess

The babies are fine. I can feel them moving around now, which is SUPREMELY WEIRD. But also very reassuring.

moving

Maybe we’ll know this week what sexes they are, which would make me so happy so people stop frigging asking. I’ve literally been asked that question four times just today. Continue reading

Who we are and What we do

tahiti

One of the places we were (not) on vacation.

 

Dear Editor,

It’s been a few weeks. Did GMGM win the lottery and yomp off to an island in the South Pacific to finally put to rest which writer is the biggest misfit? We miss you. Come back or we will have fewer distractions during the workday.

Love,

Literally Everyone

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The Victorian Classic: Nameless Old Lady Hag Thief

Newell, Peter, illustrator. Favorite Fairy Tales: The Childhood Choice of Representative Men and Women. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1907.

Newell, Peter, illustrator. Favorite Fairy Tales: The Childhood Choice of Representative Men and Women. New York: Harper & Brothers, 1907.

Theme: Goldilocks & the Three Bears

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by Kat

When British writer and poet Robert Southey put quill to ink in the 1830s to record a long-orated English nursery tale, there was no Goldilocks (nor were there bears in England, but we’ll skirt that detail for now). Efficiently titled, The Story of the Three Bears, his chosen pro/ antagonist was a dirty, old, nameless woman.

It wasn’t until meddling Joseph Cundall came along in 1849 that the middle-sized Bear was given a bit of a sex change and the old hag was replaced by an adorable blonde criminal. Ah, those crazy Victorians. As for the child, according to Cundall, there were just *yawn* too many aging women characters, ushering in an era in which roles intended for older women are unjustifiably awarded to their younger counterparts.

 

Let us revisit this classic tale. Continue reading