LG’s Top 10 Recipes of 2015

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1959 – Perky, Pretty Aprons © 2012 clotho98

THEME: GMGM 2016!

Editor’s Note: Each writer submitted a list of her Top 10 Anything. These lists will be published over the next few days as we usher in the New Year. We hope 2016 is the year that shakes your snow globe – in the best way possible.

Read on for LG’s Top 10 Successfully Attempted (read: Simple and Tasty!) Recipes; tested in 2015 for your 2016 use.

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by Laura Gene,
newly minted housewife with a mild contempt for cooking

 

1. Sriracha Roasted Brussel Sprouts – Because sriracha.

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Where I Sleep

Vomit-Piss-Trash Sign

THEME: Sex, Love & Intimacy

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by Laura Gene

“This is where I sleep,” confesses Emeli Sandé’s cellist describing her recoupling with an ex-boyfriend and unknowingly inspiring one of Sandé’s songs (“Where I Sleep”). A simple sentence to explain the complexity of compatibility, and a love when it feels “like home”.

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LG – Year One

THEME: Rearview Review

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by Laura Gene

The last year for LG looked something like this…

Procrastinate. Write. Make inaugural visit to Japan; delight in the country’s orderliness and politeness. Day of the Dead Pumpkin_CREat best otoro sashimi ever. Write. Pretend there is no such thing as Tequila Shots_CRHalloween and ignore it for the third straight year in a row. Paint Day of the Dead pumpkin because it’s Halloween, and, well, because Reel FX’s Book of Life and I was feeling nostalgic. Stuff piehole with pie, and turkey. Write. Revel in cool, crisp boot-wearing weather. Drink Glühwein. Burn tongue LG Forearm Stand_CRon Glühwein. Procrastinate. Write (a little). Watch grown men take shots of tequila from plastic syringes during an over-hyped holiday hotel brunch. Celebrate Feliz Navidad before everyone takes off for the Western holidays. Snag a spot in Drishti Yoga‘s Pre-Teacher Training program. Ring in the new year with a bit of bubbly at yet another fancy pants hotel brunch. Jet off to Harbin for birthday. Avoid frostbite while perusing larger-than-life snow sculptures and neon-lit ice castles. Continue reading

Eat Your Congee

© 2013 iheartpandas


Theme: Goldilocks & the Three Bears

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by Laura Gene

“BaoBao, eat your congee! 15 fen zhong we go school,” said Grandma Xiong.

“But it’s too hot! I burned my tongue, Wai Po!” whined Britney Xiong who was sitting next to JinJin. JinJin accompanied her everywhere.

Grandma scurried over from the ironing board to grab the soup spoon and proceeded to blow on the congealed rice concoction.

“Ew! You spit all over it. I’m not eating it now.”

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Making It Up as We Go Along – Part Deux

LG Superhero

© 2015 Nicole Keane

Theme: Yes, AND…

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by Laura Gene

Drucilla finished licking the peanut butter off her index finger and the sides of her hand that had rubbed against the opening of the jar. Her “man-hands”, as her high school friends used to call them, did not match her childlike frame. Unaware of her past taunts, she licked unabashedly, blissfully unaware of the faux pas of cleaning one’s hands in public with your mouth. As she placed the jar of peanut butter and saucered teacup underneath her chair for safekeeping, the lady with the clipboard stood still, watching Drucilla’s every move with increasing impatience and disbelief.

“Now, Drucilla. Do you need a special invitation? Get on your mark already,” she said. Continue reading

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Shredded Credit Cards

© 2011 Brandon Dimcheff

Theme: Money

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by Laura Gene

I’ve got the greatest job in the world. Yes, you should be jealous. In a world of job scarcity and uncertainty, I’ve got a good, cushy job. I’ve got my own private quarters, secluded from the metal rumblings on one side of the dividers and the annoying rotating group of passersby on the other that slide in and out, interrupting my solitude. I’ve got it made and I know it. I’m the life of the party. I can make it rain on demand and at will. I make things happen! But I am rather polarizing: people either love me or hate me – the topic of many heated dinner conversations, I’m sure.

No job is perfect however. My boss over-does it from time to time, going a little overboard with purchasing expenditures. I take some responsibility for his actions. After all, I am a bit of an enabler and don’t like confrontation much. But these people, god, they seriously do it to themselves. Fortunately for me, it at least gives me job security. Continue reading

Quitter

©2010 Emmanuel Huybrechts

©2010 Emmanuel Huybrechts

Theme: The End.

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by Laura Gene

The beginning is the end is the beginning.

I was burned out. Days were blurring into one another. Challenges were few and far between. Monotony and boredom were taking the wheel but I wasn’t ready to call it. I’d always been a champion of the grass is greener on the other side, because it usually is, at least for a while, or long enough for you to forget it was green in the first place.

As a child, as in pre-puberty, I had grandiose dreams. While other kids looked forward to moonwalks and world peace, I dreamed of days typing 10-key. I wanted to become a bookkeeper. Of course, I didn’t know what that was at the time. I just knew I liked calculators and typing numbers and scribbling them down in my wide-ruled notebooks. My mother, my biggest supporter, asked no questions when she went to Sam’s to pick up an industrial-sized calculator, made complete with a self-feeding spool of paper ribbon. After all, one needed documentation when balancing the books.

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