Getting Better Every Day

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Baby Max Knight photograph by Elle Fallon Photography, ellefallon.co.uk

THEME: Sex, Love & Intimacy

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by Melissa

Once I believed that when love came to me, (sing the Mamas and the Papas) It would come with rockets, bells and poetry…

I had this idea of love too. Exploding fireworks and dazzlement. That love would hit me like lightning transforms the sky as described in that cheesy film, Four Weddings and a Funeral: “Thunderbolt City.”

Perhaps it’s the media, or those pop songs that pine for the other and pull at our heart strings. Films that ramp up “get the girl” moments of frantic running towards airports or train stations just in the nick of time for a reunited kiss, when in real life, such acts of “courage” resemble desperation and usually end in tears. Don’t do it people. Trust me. Nobody is ever there at the gate, shoulders turning theatrically waiting for you to arrive. They’re on the plane sat happily browsing the film guide. They’re not at the train station platform with ears pricked for your clacking footsteps; they caught the 17:25 and got home early. They’re drinking beers with friends or reading books at the library or buying fish or any other of the insurmountable ways the object of desire is otherwise occupied. Continue reading

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Business Time

Business timeTHEME: Sex, Love & Intimacy

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by Kat

Intimate conversations about sex and body stuff forge fast bonds between friends. I’m hard-pressed to think of a close friend with whom I have avoided either of these subjects. Hi, my name is Carrie Bradshaw and Like many women, I have an on-call investigatory committee, ready to seriously assess/ dissect abnormalities and trends, or provide a laugh when necessary. A perfect example: the prospect of bleaching one’s asshole, as illustrated by Chelsea Handler. I have, for instance, a sex educator pal, faithful in her willingness to discuss opinions on everything from kinks to bodily freak-outs. She also isn’t afraid to use the word fuck to a great extent, which I find reassuring. She’s the Shazza to my Bridget Jones. Also on speed dial: a friend from elementary school who’s gamely unstuck me from more than one dressing room lingerie garment, and another who keeps me on consultation for sex toy shopping (she thinks I know things). Continue reading

The Birds and the Barbies

Barbie and Ken

THEME: Sex, Love & Intimacy

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by Meg

When I was a little girl, the only thing I needed to be happy was my Barbie collection. An afternoon alone would not bother me, because I could hunker down in my rosebud-wallpapered bedroom to play. I’d pull out my favorite brunette Barbie and my most handsome Ken – wearing his signature denim jacket (swoon) – and I was complete. I would put them in the pink Porsche convertible with real working headlights and drive around the hallway with the doors closed so it was dark and romantic. I would like to tell you that I invented wonderful adventures, and that all my Barbies had very impressive careers, but I can’t. For 99% of the time my Barbies were in my hands… they were boinking.

Porking.

Bumping uglies… well, plastic mounds. Continue reading

Where I Sleep

Vomit-Piss-Trash Sign

THEME: Sex, Love & Intimacy

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by Laura Gene

“This is where I sleep,” confesses Emeli Sandé’s cellist describing her recoupling with an ex-boyfriend and unknowingly inspiring one of Sandé’s songs (“Where I Sleep”). A simple sentence to explain the complexity of compatibility, and a love when it feels “like home”.

Continue reading